MoviePass has suffered an ignominious death and it today’s failure

In the hallowed year of Kafka’s 2011, MoviePass was founded by some guy from the record industry and who cares. It was founded for the usual Startup reason of “disrupting” the way we see Movies in the Cinema.

They started out being basically a website you could get voucher for movie tickets, but later transitioned into the usual standard application methods, that everyone everywhere uses every single day.

At several points in their history, you could get unlimited plans, essentially giving you free movies in return for a subscription, the terms and conditions varied wildly from year to year due to the company being a sodding mess.

Which present the first of many issues this company had, it’s pricing was an absolute mess, some period of it’s lifespan it had Peak Pricing, meaning that sometimes the prices would be higher, sometimes not.

Frankly, I’d love to see the business plan of MoviePlan, it seems to be fairly close to this:

A solid Business Plan!

Shock and Horror! In 2017 MoviePass sold a majority stake of themselves to Helios and Matheson Analytics, a company that sounds like a front for someone living in a Volcano lair.

This was ostensibly done as a method of acquiring data on people’s movie watching habits, it didn’t actually solve the company’s core issue of “How the fuck does this make money?”. Mind you, the founders managed to get out of the mess back in 2018 thanks to Helios and Matheson, purveyors of BIG DATA.

So Pricing was a problem, you know what else? The cinema chains where for some peculiar reason, not terrible happy about this entire venture and resisted it thoroughly, refusing to cooperate, presumably because MoviePass didn’t even bother to ask.

Add in standard security issues and the loss of account data and you’ve got it all.

They even released a couple of movies: American Animals, who reviewed really well and Gotti, which is one of a handful of movies that has a ZERO on Rotten Tomatoes, the user score was 80% favorable at a point, which obviously reeks of review manipulation.

Not that any of it matters, MoviePass died on September the 14th in the Year of Machiavelli of 2019, and nothing was changed at all.

To put this in a nice academical perspective using Osterwalder’s Business Model, MoviePass failed to:

  • Determine Key Partners (Cinemas, movie distributors, movie studios)
  • Cost Structure (What costs use the real money? Whales, lack of usage)
  • Revenue Streams (I have no clue how this mess would even really make money, unless you’re somehow going for the Health Club option, subscribe and never go there)
  • Channels (To some degree, they App ought to have been there from the start)
This is the Business Model Canvas, OBEY!

Failure was inevitable, however, the founders got out without suffering any real consequences, Stacy Spikes is now running a targeted Cinema add company and Hamet Watt has several Board seats and Venture activities.

So that’s the lesson kids, fail your way to success!

Too Human was Too Failure

Too Human was a 2008 action roleplay game, that was supposed to merge Sci-Fi with ancient Scandinavian mythology, ignoring the fact that was essentially the entire concept of Marvel’s version of Thor and Odin, in an effort to make money.

Many of the developer’s fans did wonder why Silicon Knights didn’t bother making a sequel to one of their massive successes.

Instead they made a piece of shit.

Let’s Yatzhee do the rest really.

Now, the game was a failure in itself, however, there are another thing coming, a lawsuit. They sued Epic, back before Epic turned out to be anti-consumer monopolist twats, for “delivering a bad engine”, despite the engine being the Unreal engine, wildly recognize for being amazing.

In 2012, the judge order Silicon Knight to to destroy EVERYTHING related to the Unreal engine, which included Too Human and X-Men: Destiny and a whole bunch of dreams that Silicon Knights had had too.

So you can’t actually buy this awful game anymore or the X-Men game either, unless you manage to find a boxed copy somewhere out there, I wouldn’t personally recommend that you do that, and that comes from a person who own Stalin Vs. Martians.

Chris Grayling is a endless story of failure

Chris Grayling was born on the first of April 1962 and didn’t really start failing consistently until 1993, where the company he worked for as a manager, failed due to SAT non-payment.

He then lost an election in 1997, losing with a margin of more than ten-thousand, his Tory masters then dumped him in an ultra-safe seat in 1998 and he has remained their ever since, his electorate are mainly made of semi-sentient water fowl.

He then spent nine years (2001-2010) in the Shadow Cabinet, which sounds cool, but really, it’s just the British opposition pretending to be in power, so they can claim they’d “do everything better than the sitting government”, even if they couldn’t. He developed a reputation as an attack dog during this period.


He then got caught in the Expenses scandal of the time, he’d maintained a tax-payer paid and tax-payer renovated apartment near to Parliament, even though he live 17 miles away. 5000 £ and an severe embarrassment was the price paid, he’d been attacking Labour politicians about the very same issues at the time.

He then claimed that an area in Manchester, called Moss Side, was just like amazing crime drama “The Wire”, despite the fact that Moss Side had had absolutely zero gun-related deaths and that greater Manchester had reported a 82% drop in gang-related shootings.

In 2010 Grayling failed his way into government and being in charge of the Department for Work and Pensions, he just did the usual Tory nonsense, cuts to job centers and blaming “workshy elements”.

In 2012 he got a promotion, he was made Lord Chancellor, the British Justice Minister/Secretary, his performance was described by Lord Pannick as ” “notable only for his attempts to restrict judicial reviews and human rights, his failure to protect the judiciary against criticism from his colleagues and the reduction of legal aid to a bare minimum.”

He banned people from sending books to prisoners, for no reason at all, no rational reason at least. He manages to increase re-offending rates by spending 400 million pounds more, which doesn’t seem right. Most of his “innovations” during his tenure have either already been abolished or will be next year, even Gove didn’t like his work here.

Dull as shit, easy to fuck up!

In 2015 he was promoted again, this time to Leader of the Commons, but he only lasted until 2016, when he was kicked over the Department of Transport.

  • He refused a request from the Mayor of London to gain control of a rail franchise that really would have been better in their hand, because Sadiq Khan is a labour member.
  • He open his door into a cyclist.
  • He cancelled railway electrification schemes in Northern England, because fuck the North.
  • He didn’t penalize a private company for fucking up a timetable change, because he changed the contract in 2017.
  • Not caring about drones, resulting in the Gatwick airport drone disturbances.
  • He then paid Seaborne Freight 13.8 million £ for emergency Brexit ferries, Seaborne had never run any ferries and didn’t own any, so giving them the contract was dumb.
  • The other ferry companies, the ones with actually experience, got a 28 million £ bonus because Brexit still hasn’t happened.
  • And the new Class 800 trains are delayed and cost to much.

And Chris Greyling for some unfathomable reason remains Minister for Transport and a Member of Parliament. He also really hates being called Chris Failing.

Does he have blackmail material on everyone or something? How the hell does he keep getting elected? Are the water fowls really that easy to dupe?

Anglo-Zanzibar War is a short failure

The reasons for the Anglo-Zanzibar War are the usual British reason: “You don’t have a flag, you are now the property of the British Empire”.

Zanzibar was at the time a sultanate, having been founded by Omani slave traders in 1698, where ironically, they expelled the Portuguese colonists, history is full of little ironies like that.

Zanzibar was ruled by the Omanis until one of the usual dynastic struggles caused the separation, Zanzibar would continue as a sultanate under a cadet branch, with the main branch of the House of Al Said.

As part of the Heligoland–Zanzibar Treaty of 1890, Britain traded Heligoland, a tiny island in the North Sea full of Germans, in exchange for Zanzibar, become the islands full on protector.

In 1896 Khalid bin Barghash, who had recently become Sultan, tried to assert his independence.

The British didn’t care and declared war. A war that last from: 09:02–09:40 EAT (06:02–06:40 UTC), 27 August 1896.

The Sultan’s Harem, sorry, the Ruins of the Sultan’s Harem

That would be a thirty-eight minutes long war, the SHORTEST war ever fought between nations, resulting in around five hundred Zanzibar casualties, mostly civilians and one wounded British sailor.

The British then installed Hamoud bin Mohammed as the new sultan, the previous one was exlied to Saint Helena, even if he was allowed to return to East Africa much later.

The Zanzibar also lost the HHS Glasgow, a royal yacht, ironically named after the HMS Glasgow, less ironically in fact not at all, named after the City of Glasgow.

See those two things sticking out of the water? Yeah, that’s the HHS Glasgow, this picture was taken in 1912 too.

The lesson learned was don’t fuck with the British Empire prior to World War One.

The Sultanate of Zanzibar ceased to exist in 1964, the last Sultan now lives in Portsmouth.

Luis González de Ubieta y González del Campillo is today’s glorious and magnificent failure

Luis González de Ubieta (1899-1950) was the son of a forestry engineer, who joined the Spanish Republican Navy at some point after the end of the monarchy, and remained loyal to the Republic when the Spanish Civil War broke out in 1936, resulting in him being rapidly promoted upwards, seeing as a significant amount of naval officers joined Franco’s Falangists.

Not the best picture, but it’s the 1930’s in a country in chaos

In September 1938, after the disastrous Battle of Cape Cherchell in which the Republican Navy lost a strategically important convoy, he was promoted to Captain-General of the Republican Navy, the equivalent of a full Admiral of the Fleet, commanding officer and all.

Why? Because early that year, in march, Ubieta had successfully commanded his taskforce against Nationalist ships during the Battle of Cape Palos, using the torpedoes of his force, he successfully sank the Heavy Cruiser Baleares, unfortunately, it was to little, to late.

At the time he assumed command the Second Spanish Republic was already losing ground, his victory would mean little, beyond receiving the Laureate Plate of Madrid, the highest military honour of the Republic he so bravely served.

Spanish destroyer José Luis Díez

In January 1939, Ubieta was given command of Minorca, which surrendered in February, under massive pressure from the Nationalists and the locals on the island, hope was lost at this point, resistance was sadly futile.

He fled to France, until the invasion by Germany in 1940, forced him to Mexico, later he would settle in Venezuela.

He the tale could end, but it doesn’t.

At the start of the 1950’s, Ubieta, once in command of a navy, found himself in command of a Panamanian-flagged cattle transport named Chiriqui, sailing the waters of South America.

Franco’s power in Spain was now absolute, he had kept his nose out of World War Two and was awarded by not being invaded and obliterated by the Allies, a smaller Western Betrayal compared to the much larger Eastern Betrayal of the now Soviet Satellites states of the later Warsaw pact.

Luis González de Ubieta, an admiral without a fleet, a sailor without a nation, must have been devastated, knowing that he couldn’t return to Spain without the threat of almost certain execution, knowing that his beloved homeland was suffering under the tyranny of Franco, knowing that the Republic was dead.

I couldn’t actually find a picture of the Chiriqui, but it would have looked fairly similar to this ship.

On the 30th of December 1950, the Chiriqui sunk near the mouth of the river Magdalena in Colombian waters, having ensured the safety of the crew, Ubieta refused rescue.

The Captain goes down with his ship, in his last moments, he seized his destiny and went out as a proper naval officer, it wasn’t under fire, but it would have to do.

And thus Glorious Failure was had.

SimCity 2013 is just the saddest little failure

SimCity 2013, from 2013, is not the real name of this particular videogame, it is in fact simple named “SimCity”, this is a lie, SimCity was released in 1989 and is one of the classical bedrock videogames of an entire generation of poor bastards.

It was a massively successful series of video games, all about building a city, supplying it’s inhabitants with services, designing the layout of the city and generally being solid simulators.

The intial 1989 game has been released on just about everything:

  • Acorn Archimedes
  • Acorn Electron
  • Amiga
  • Amstrad CPC
  • Atari ST
  • BBC Micro
  • Browser
  • C64
  • CDTV
  • DESQview
  • DOS
  • EPOC32
  • FM Towns
  • iOS
  • Linux
  • Mac OS
  • Mobile phone
  • NeWS
  • OLPC XO-1
  • OS/2
  • PC-98
  • SNES
  • Tk
  • Unix
  • Windows
  • X11 TCL
  • X68000
  • ZX Spectrum

Not bad eh? In 1993 a sequel was released in the form of SimCity 2000, which I never played as a child, my graphics card couldn’t handle 256 colours, on 16.

Followed in 1999 by SimCity 3000, which sold a million copies in six months, which by 2000’s standard, hell even by today, it pretty fucking good for a niche simulator game. Hell, most sources report that the game end up selling around five million copies by 2007.

SimCity 4 came out in 2003, adding cool features like regions, enabling you to essentially building cities and then zooming out to an over-world, where all the cities you could see would then interact with each other, in a fairly limited way true, but cool nonetheless.

SimCity 4 would sell somewhere around two million copies fairly quickly too. But then came the Sims and basically wrecked everything, combine that with a couple of crap games from Maxis, the developer, and the result was a TEN YEAR GAP.

And then came SimCity 2013, one of the early attempts at “Games as a Service” it essentially shoehorned in a whole bunch of online elements, like cooperative multiplayer and leader-boards and then made the entire game online-only.


“EA wanted to make it more of a platform, an ongoing platform, that they’d sort of build and develop on,” Quigley explained. “And so that […] mandated, kind of, the server and online stuff. Which, in retrospect — I mean, obviously — was the fatal flaw in it.”

Yeah, this was a failure of infrastructure before anything else, a million people logging into the game at once drove the servers into the abyss and EA had to basically go all out fire-fighter to fix it.

The game never really recovered, and worst of all, only sold two million copies, the same as the previous game had, after ten years, EA’s moronic executives obviously expected much more.

Didn’t help that the entire Online component and always online requirement, the developers told the customers that there was server-side calculations involved in the requirement, could be disable totally by removing two lines of code.

And offline mode was introduced in a later patch, the game got a bunch of crap DLC and a moderately okay Expansion.

EA don’t learn at all, Maxis no longer really exists, the Sims is a shell of idiots buying the same expansion over and over again and SimCity?

Go buy Cities Skylines instead.


Premier Smokeless Cigarettes are today’s failure

Let’s go with a product for a fairly short failure, smokeless cigarettes, specifically the Premier brand developed by R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, now some of you are going “What, you mean e-cigarettes?”.

No, smokeless actual cigarettes, through some horrible chemical process RJR actually managed to somehow conjure up a cigarette that didn’t generate any significant amount of smoke, but was still functionally a cigarette.

Yeah, that looks a but off.

So what was the problem? It sounds pretty good right? The smoke is one of the biggest complains people have about cigarettes that and the dreadful smell.

At a cost of probably around a billion dollars, RJR released the Premier in 1988, and nobody bought.

Why? It “tasted” like plastic or possibly charcoal, required special instructions in how to light it and was STILL A CIGARETTE!

Just instead of tar, you’re were just breathing some other forsaken chemical mixture of death and more death.

Even the smokers didn’t like it. The lesson was actually learned, RJR withdrew the product within a year and never really bother after that.

Project Chariot and the glorious task of blowing the absolutely crap out of a desolate area of Alaska is today’s failure

It’s 1958, the glory days of utterly unmanaged nuclear experimentation, any idea involving the term “nuclear” will get coverage and funds from the US Atomic Energy Commission (AEC), no matter how insane, bizarre, derange, mad, impracticable and quixotic, after all, you couldn’t fall back in the race against the mighty Soviet Union.

The project arose, like a horrible mutated Phoenix, from Operation Plowshare, a reference to the old “beat their Swords into ploughshares” quote from Isaiah 2:3–4 in ye olde Christian bible. The Operation’s purpose was to somehow figure out a peaceful use for nuclear weapons, turning horrible world-ending mass explosives into something that could be useful for civilians.

A wonderful idea right? That is if you want to irradiate the ENTIRE BERING STRAIT!

Chariot was the brainchild and dearest concept of the Father of the Hydrogen Bomb, Edward Teller, whom I shall know tell you about, because I need an excuse to tell you about him, so fuck you.

Teller was a Hungarian-American theoretical physicist and like most the amazing physicist, he was a complete weirdo, unlike some physicists who just collected dolls or lunchboxes or typewriters, he was massive asshole, undeniably brilliant, huge motherfucker.

Known for the development of the Jahn–Teller effect, which describes something called Spontaneous symmetry breaking, which I guess makes something asymmetrical, somehow, somewhere, sometime, fish and the Ashkin–Teller model (Or Potts model) which has something to do with interacting spins on crystal lattice and I have never ever written something like that in my entire glorious existence, no clue what it means.

And finally, the last one, the HYDROGEN BOMB, the biggest, meanest, baldest and craziest nuclear device you can possibly play with, also known as THERMONUCLEAR weapons, they are essentially a small fission or conventional nuclear bomb inside of a shell of fusion fuels, originally deuterium and tritium, these days something called lithium deuteride, which apparently reacts absolutely delightfully with water, presumable it reacts even better under the vast heat and significant pressure of a nuclear blast.

Teller loved his nukes, he loved experimenting with them, he loved to see them exploded, he even loved Ronald Reagan stupid Strategic Defense Initiative, Teller died in 2003 at the age of 95, his deep desire to see shit blow up was the reason for his passionate desire to see Project Chariot become a horrible radioactive reality.

Nothing here at all

Now, for the Project itself, initially Teller’s passion spread like an STD at a festival, until it reached the environmental groups, who basically shat themselves in sheer horror, pointing out that this whole idea would almost certainly just result in massive radioactive damage to the local area, and for once the AEC actually agreed and put the whole mess in “abeyance”, which is a fancy way of not cancelling a project while cancelling the project.

Didn’t help that they were lacking a very important factor for any project in any capitalist country: A buyer, nobody wanted a harbour in the area.

Fuck! Why would anybody want a harbour there? In the sixties the place was basically ice-packed most of the year!

And obviously, it didn’t end this easily, the madmen did several experiment in the area to test how the radiation could potentially spread in the area and then disposed of the test material from the test sites in Nevada, by just burying the whole mess in the ground, and unlike the dwarves of Moria, they did not dig too deep.

They buried the site in 62, thirty years later some bored student found the records in the archives, shat himself and told the Alaskan government, who then shat themselves and basically went straight the site to see what the fuck the old loonies at the AEC had done, the result? Discovered radioactive material less than two feet from the flowing water, no fucking wonder the locals in the nearby Inuit settlement of Cape Hope were all dying of cancer.

The lessons learned? Don’t FUCKING USE NUKES FOR ANYTHING!

Nuclear Explosions for the National Economy was the People’s Victory against the Bourgeois Capitalist and not at all Today’s Failure

This was basically the Soviet version of Operation Plowshare, same idea, same concept, just on a scale that was so much large and more grandiose and obviously even stupider than the American version, just like the good old days of Soviet Glory.

Starting up later then the American program, due to various political attempts to limit nuclear tests, when it started up sometime around 1960, it really went all out.

Like the American project, the Soviets essentially divided their many, MANY, nuclear tests into two broad categories.

  • “Employment of Nuclear Explosive Technologies in the Interests of National Economy” or “Program Six”.
    • This was the part of Peaceful Nuclear Explosions (PNE) designed for massive-scale construction programs: Canals, water reservoirs and other excavations.  
  • “Peaceful Nuclear Explosions for the National Economy” or, surprise, surprise, “Program Seven”.
    • This one was broadly similar to one of the American categories, using nuclear explosions to encourage mineral and gas exploitation, adding in plans about creating underground cavities to store gas.

The first program resulted in 124 tests with 135 nuclear devices, the second 115 explosions, most of them were similar to the American experiments, some 39 of them were used for experiments in using seismic waves to detected deposits of natural gas, 25 were attempts to encourage additional oil and gas production with similar irradiated gas results as the Americans got, the seismic experiments carried on much longer than any of the rest of them.

Some Twenty-two were used in experiments with large underground gas cavities for storage, two more for toxic waste storage, wonderful idea, let’s make toxic waste radioactive, like it wasn’t bad enough already.

Two were used to crush ore in open-pit mines, which sounds fucking nuts to me, detonate essentially open-air nuclear bombs just to crush some fucking rock? Madness as all hell.

Nineteen for various research purposes and a long one for coal mining? Underground? Holy shit, gotta give the old Soviets that one, I would never have even dreamt of using a nuclear bomb to mine out coal, quick, somebody tell President Trump about it, perhaps he’ll blow up West Virginia.

Now, there are nine of the tests that are interesting beyond the terror, some of them, actually did good, they worked as intended and did indeed solve fairly serious problems.

Five explosions you see, were used to stop “natural gas fountains”, that would be out of control gas fields spewing huge amounts of flammable gas straight into the atmosphere, in 1966 a thirty kiloton device were used to stop a gas well that had been blowing since ’63 and they repeated that success a few months later with a larger devices.

To be fair though, using explosives to stop well blowouts is actually the norm, usually you’d just use conventional explosives and not the Bringer of Death, the Destroyer of Worlds herself.

This is the Chagan shot, lovely isn’t it? Didn’t pollute nearly as much as the Sedan test

The last four, were used as tests, for building stuff, the Chagan test, which was basically the Sedan test with a much, much cleaner nuclear device, for those of you who do not care to dream beyond your small niche, radioactive waste from nuclear bombs is essentially unexploded material from the fission process, however, Hydrogen bombs don’t use that much fission, they use fusion, which doesn’t leave anywhere near as much radioactive material around.

The trick is to get as much as possible of the fissile material, used in hydrogen bombs as a starter, to well fission, resulting in a “clean bomb”, the Sedan was an older and much more primitive device compared to the Chagan, so the Chagan didn’t contributed seven per cent of the total radiation of the Soviet people, it barely contributed at all.

Neither did the Taiga tests, a series of the three remaining devices tested for canal building, all of these projects were deemed failures even by the Soviets delightful standards, the seismic tests continued until 1988, were Gorbachev’s glasnost put a stop to them.

Lovely lake right? WRONG! Made by a fucking nuke!

The lessons learned? Pretty much the same as the American, the only really “good” results were the blowout stopping power of nuclear weapons, but there’s a perfectly decent chance that you can get the same result using conventional high-explosives or thermobaric weapons.

So, nothing gained other than a handful of mildly irradiated lacks in the depths of Mother Russia and hey, who’ll notice another of those.

Now, please enjoy nuclear explosions!

Project Plowshare is today’s tremendously dangerous failure

Project Plowshare was the United States Atomic Energy Commission’s forlorn attempt to somehow develop civilian uses for nuclear weapons, the idea being that activities and operations the would require significant amount of explosives, could use nuclear devices instead of enormous amount of TNT.

It also developed into, essentially, early experiments with fracking, just instead of using water pressure to fuck around with the geology of an area, they used smaller nuclear bombs, ranging from 29 kilotons to 43 kilotons.

Now the “civilian” uses of nuclear explosions were concentrated into two broad categories:

  1. Using the explosions to essentially eliminate large formations for specific purposes.
    1. Project Carryall from 63 suggested using TWENTY-TWO nuclear devices to outright blow a canyon out of a mountain range, so two of the partners, California Division of Highways and the Santa Fe Railway, could build a motorway and railroad.
    1. Project Chariot: LET’S BLOW UP ALASKA.
  2. Various fracking experiments primarily aimed towards encouraging natural gas fields.

Now, fortunately, none of the first ever get anywhere, which the people of California and Alaska are probably very happy about, seeing as Californians don’t have to wear protective suits and gieger counters when driving along Interstate 40, nor do Alaskan have even more radioactive shit in their food.

However, the fracking experiment resulted in 27 test explosions, of whom, three were practical tests, actual detonation near gas fields, to observe he results.

I do enjoy the irony of “gnomes” being underground creatures.

Now, almost all of the experimental explosions were done at the Nevada test site, except the first one, Gnome, done near Carlsbad, New Mexico, close to several oil and gas fields, and right inside a salt field.

The explosion was actually a remarkable success, six months later a team drilled their way into the underground cavity created and found that the radiation was only five milliroentgen, nothing special, temperatures inside the cavity was around 60 degrees Celsius, again, nothing spectacularly dangerous.

Yeah, let’s dig into a cavity created by a nuclear explosion deep underground, what could go wrong?

So they plowed on, the Sedan test was next, this was a test of Option One, using nukes for large-scale construction, 105 kilotons, caused an event of the Richter scale of 4.75, displaced eleven million tons of earth and created a crater 100 meters deep and 360 meters in diameter, it’s also the source of seven per cent of all the radiation Americans have gotten as part of US nuclear tests, so well done there.


A side effect here, is the fact that the crater left behind, helped with developing new theories on how impact craters from meteor happened.

Hey, mildly radioactive tourist attraction is always cool, seeing as the wind gave Mississippi most of the radiation anyways.

Now, three fracking detonations were conducted too, let’s not forget them, they were Gasbuggy, Rulison and Rio Blanco 1-3 and all three had something utterly not surprising in common:

Radioactive gas, which someone figured that Californians might not enjoy radiation from their gas ovens and furnaces.

None of the gas from any of the fields were ever used for commercial purposes, only industrial, and the entire program was quietly defunded and stopped.

The lesson learned? Nuclear weapons are nuclear weapons, they are designed for the sole purpose of destruction, the radiation they carry with the massive destructive potential, render them utterly unsuitable for any other real purposes.

And if you think the Americans just stopped the quickly? Then join me tomorrow, as we discuss the Nuclear Explosions for the National Economy program of the Soviet Union, the red Version of Project Plowshares and I’ll illuminate your staggeringly misguided desire for more explosions.

The Internet is a dark and terrible place

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