Fri. Dec 6th, 2019

The Balfour Institute of Esoteric Culture

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This is a nice long list of the many failures of Fallout 76

4 min read

Today we cover a great deal many of the hilarious failures of Bethesda Game Studios’ absolutely terrible Fallout 76.

First among it’s many sins, is the fact that is a “Games as a Service” concept, a online multiplayer game that drip feeds content in order to keep players buying severely useless micro-transactions junk in an online store bolted on the game, like some horribly cancerous malignant growth.

A significant chunk of the assets are recycled from Fallout 4, using the same engine, and engine that could be very reasonable described as “hideously outdated” or more accurately as “pre-historic”, except that parts that were reused from Skyrim, the Scorchbeast of Fallout 76 uses the same code as the dragons from Skyrim, including the famous “the dragon is flying backwards” bug.

This game was released as a full price 60 US$, even through it’s just a half-baked multiplayer mod for Fallout 4, mind you, the price started cratering like you wouldn’t believe within days of launch, there was a 12% sale after SIX days on Green Man Gaming, hell, 22 days after the release, you could get Fallout 76 for 40 US$, if that isn’t an indicator for failure, then fuck off you muppet.

BEHOLD!

So many bugs, many of the bugs would be patched out and then somehow back in, for reasons that are explained by the chosen engine: “Creation Engine”, that was shat out from the Gamebryo engine about seven years ago, The Gamebryo engine died back in 2015 by the way and nobody cares about it, the Creation Engine is a freakshow that really doesn’t work anymore.

And then there was the Collector’s Edition, now as a sensible person, I find most Collector’s Editions tremendously silly and very much stupid, so frankly, it was fitting for the idiots to get punished for their total lack of self-control, but on the other hand, customer rights.

This is what the Collector’s Edition looked like, note the bag.

The Edition came with the usual dumb shit nobody sane ought to ever care about and that Canvas bag up in the corner, I don’t mind that one at all, at least it’s a bag, it can always be used as a bag.

This is what the bag actually looked like, lovely canvas eh?

Holy shit, did the fans who bought this massive failure of a game go absoluetly apeshit and with good reasons, this kind of deceptive practices are banned in most civilized countries and even the US, so Bethesda went on DAMAGE Control! Offering no less than FIVE HUNDRED Super-Premium-Cash-Shop-Microtransactions Atoms, which is around five bucks, of imaginary money, for a digital artifact, that doesn’t cost them anything, an ironically wasn’t enough to actually buy the in-game canvas bag, a part of the postman set, cost 550 Atoms, the irony.

This was for the INFLUENCERS! Didn’t do much though.

And of course, the precious Influencers got their little special bag, because we all need more reasons to hate them with a burning passion.

Oh yeah, they did manage to get proper bags out in the end.

In the end, Bethesda finally gave up and actually shipped out bags made of canvas, even after they claimed that sourcing CANVAS was very difficult.

Then on the 23rd of April this very year, they went all out Pay2Win on our arses, releasing “Basic Repair Kits”, that you can only buy for REAL money in the Atom Shop (No, the tiny amounts of free Atom Premium currency you get isn’t enough for anything sane, it’s just used to encourage you to spend, you feeble-minded troglodyte), sure, a drop of “Improved Repair Kits” could fall out of the Random Number Generator, but the odds are stacked against you.

Then the start of September, they released two little extra things on the Atom Shop, a bunch of robots that automatically scavenge the local area for you, giving you a massive advantage in that you can concentrate on other activities rather than scavenging for parts, pretty big in a game about Survival, and a Refrigerator that reduce spoilage of you food with 50%, essentially reducing gathering/hunting for food with, guess what, 50%, again, big advantage in a sodding survival game.

And then on the 25th of September 2019, the T-51b Power Armor collectible helmets, that you can buy in shops if you’re an idiot, are now being recalled, I also wonder why a “collectible” that has a production number of 20.000 can really be called a “collectible”, but no matter, some of the fabric inserts apparently “may” contain mold, well done.

Sourced!

And just as a final word on this dismal failure.

Yup, Fallout 76 have pretty much sold bugger all, compared all of the never Fallout games.
Source: https://www.statista.com/statistics/504477/global-all-time-unit-sales-fallout-games/

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