Dominic Deegan: Orc Rape! Noses!

Dominic Deegan isn’t terribly good, really, it isn’t. The art style is childish and the story-lines are bland self-righteous blather, and if anyone knows anything about self-righteousness it’s me, because I’m basically King Troglodyte of Internet Righteousness, Supreme Overlord of Clownfarts.


The start, and what everyone hoped was the end.

Let’s do a basic recap of the amazing “universe” of Dominic Deegan, Oracle for Hire, the titular character Dominic Deegan starts out as a sarcastic git who can see the future. And then the entire plot just starts out with some bollocks about a girl with fangs and so on.

It’s suppose to be some sort of pseudo-fantasy medieval world, but hey, guess what, only the setting is medieval, the society is a weird mess of the post-modern society of today, and the ultra-oppressive society of the fucking dark ages. There’s absolutely no consistence, which can be rather jarring if you have just a basic foundation of the thirteenth centuries history and customs.


Oh how utterly random!

So it randomly flips between conflicting cultures and societies, each based purely on whatever insane thought went though the creators utterly deluded mind, it’s like watching a five year old child’s odd day dreams, just not cool.

Unless it’s Axe Cop, but only because Axe Cop is unrelentingly honest about itself.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!
What?

Seriously, look at their faces! Look at them, in case you may have some difficulty reading the childish emotions of their hideous bug faces, which is admittedly rather hard, they are overjoyed by the prospect of alcohol.

A pair of grown human being, one of who is a fucking all-seeing conduit of other or some such nonsense, and the other an odd-looking cursed sorcesress of some power, are overwhelmed by sheer ecstasy by complimentary alcohol!

What the flying shit is this? Was Mookie trying to abstain from his apparent alcoholism when he wrote this drivel?

Grown adult mature people do not rejoice in eternal rapture over free fucking booze, not unless they are Irish.

Dominic Deegan pretty much hasn’t got anything else, there’s literally nothing else beyond this maniac’s deranged dream world, joyfully ignoring all the sheer dreadful horror of most of the damn world he somehow conjured up from the depraved corners of his dark soul.

You see this shit? Yeah, that’s from back in 2006 or so, that’s what, four years ago, a large improvement from his start way back in 2002, still complete bollocks, but improving.

Nothing, no change, four years of work and absolutely nothing’s changed, the storyline died ages ago, the art is stagnate.

Congratulations fans of Dominic Deegan, you’re delightfully sad webcomic is dead as a fucking stone. It’s like Mookie’s just vomiting forth the same tiresome bollocks every single weekday, just letting his adoringly tasteless fans gobble it all up.

It’s frankly astonishing.

The complete lack of any consistency in Dominic Deegan’s storyline and characters makes for a reading experience that really only a wildly schizophrenic maniac with poor self-control could ever enjoy.

The characters never really settle into anything really definable, they simply are what they are, and only change due to random acts of Deus Ex Machina, no character development beyond the utterly obvious, it’s like watching Star Trek Voyager again, just without the Emergency Medical Hologram rendering a bright light through the misery.

Oh look, a joke, right in the middle of an otherwise “serious” story about poorly organized crime in some backwater piece of crap city, how joyful.

Who thinks this shit is funny? The mentally ill? Attention-starved nerds who see themselves a talking cat?

I haven’t got a clue.

And yes, loosing any control of your rampaging emotions is a wonderful thing to do, just about as wonderful as vomiting on starving hobos and laught joyously.

I don’t think Dominic Deegan has even single character who could function in the real world, which isn’t that odd, seeing as it’s creator can’t fucking function in the real world.

Oh yeah, and before his present, “You can escape from hell by being a GOOD GUY AND REPENTING” story this mind-numbing moron’s presently working on, he made some confusing commentary on modern music being all the same and how metal is the best thing EVAAAARRRR!!!

He present the storyline roughly as good as Goering would have presented a Power Point on Woman’s Rights. For those who are unable to get obscure jokes about Nazi figure’s incompetence and womanising, go look it up.

I think that just about warp everything up, time for the final statement.

Dominic Deegan, Oracle for Hire, is the second worst webcomic I have ever had the sad misfortune of stumbling upon, it’s basically perfect demonstration of a webcomic who has died. No life remains in Dominic Deegan it’s all gone, it didn’t have much left, and it’s now just maintained by the foul Necromancy of nerds.

As an addition, I’d point out that the author, Mookie, is a horrible human being, for defending his use of rape, as a story element, in a simple-mindedly stupid comedy webcomic.

Katy Perry is about as interesting as late Italian Post-Modern Brutalist Brickworks

Yeah, sorry, she really isn’t anything absurdly interesting or fascinating, as her lunatic fans make her seem like, which is annoying, I was almost expecting decent, and just got boring generic crap.

I’ll give her points for this one, not a gram of redundant fanservice sex appeal, she’s dressed perfectly normal, even if she tries to grab a bit of Bjørk’s magic with the see-through umbrella.

It’s music for the kind of people who think they are intellectuals, but are really just arrogant little bastards, who deserves to be shot for wearing enormous sunshades.

The song is really simple though, and by that, I mean boring.

Throwing in retro-sex appeal is one hell of a bewildering thing to do, personally I find any fashion from before 1959 primitive and barbaric, a remnant of a time where a woman belonged in the thralls of obedience, kitchen and children.

Sad that it’s glorified like that.

Unfortunately “Hot’n’cold” isn’t really embeddable, probably because she hasn’t realized that Record Companies are malevolent bastards who doesn’t benefit anyone beyond a few far shareholders.

It’s an odd blend of “Girl Power” and yet, the line “You change your mind, like a girl changes clothes” is so fundamentally stereotypically wrong and morally bankrupt it’s actually painful to hear.

Apparently the song is about how Katy is a hideously forceful person, and she’s trying to force some poor bastard into a marriage he’s pretty clearly not interested in at all.

Not sure what’s with all this marriage bullshit in these days, it’s like how society just moves forwards and backwards all the time.

In the 1980’s it was popular to marry years after you had freaking kids, rather than before, sure kept the divorce numbers down.

And why the hell is she dressed like that? Did her sales start to drop, so her “manager” is forcing her into a more mainstream slut image? How delightful.

Yep.

They sure have.

Let’s play the “Katy might be lesbian” card, well done Record Company, well done indeed.

Like to demean an entire sexual preference a bit more? Perhaps manufacture a further reinforcement of the twisted vision of femininity the youth gets today?

No fucking wonder we have a lot of youth crime today.

And guess what? It gets worse.

I like how she throws out Penn and Teller, sure they are reactionary lunatics, but they still have more talent than she does.

Should have stick with Gospel, saved us from yet another generic pop-star.

Not even worth the pain really.

Fairly decent pair of breats I suppose.

Another fine example of the cultural impact of the overwhelming ocean of mediocrity commited by the media upon the whole bleeding world.