Cru the Dwarf: Drunken Duck is a Cesspit

Cru the Dwarf is a pretty bloody bad webcomic. It’s yet another World of Warcraft comic using machinima style posing using whatever useless bollocks they can drag out of the World of Warcraft files.

This is just about the worst piece of shit the entire retarded World of Warcraft subculture has ever vommited forth.
Can’t even make proper speech bubbles.

Cru the Dwarf probably started out as a joke, a rather bland and boring joke, with the rather large defeciency of not being funny at all. Unfortunately for the rest of the human race, it didn’t stay that way, it became the mad attempt of a deranged “author” forcing a fanfiction into a visual medium.

So it went from jokes about Night Elves being fanservice, into some twisted mess of timetravel and dragon’s getting impregnated by perverted dwarves. Let me restate that line in bold with swearing: FUCKING DRAGON GETTING FUCKED BY A UTTERLY IMMATURE PERVERTED DIMWITTED DWARF, but it’s okay, she was in her elven form.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Look, a Star Wars reference, aren't I delightfully meta?
A FUCKING DRAGON!

Yup. Couldn’t you just have stuck with pointless pop-culture Cru, hey, I didn’t even notice. IT’S A FUCKING SELF-INSERTION FANTASY TOO, oh the humanity. Why didn’t you just stick to your poor jokes Cru? Why?


Oh yeah, they sucked too.

It even steals an entire character from a much better drawn, but equally stupid, webcomic Looking for Group, and then Sean F, which is actually the name he now uses, tries to meta his way out of it, by constantly pointing it out. Well done Sean, got tired of people pointing out how odd your dwarf-dragon furry fetish really is?


I have no words.

But still have plenty of words about Drunken Duck, the Cesspit of Cesspit of the greater Webcomic world, and I use “world” because using the actualy words that comes through my mind “Zi dingir n Da Shurrim ma kanpa” is Sumerian straight from the Necronomicon, used to drive away fucking evil.

Here’s a fine example of the avarage Drunken Duck comic, except this one isn’t done in some 3D software, but is actually drawn, poorly. Etheral Legacies is some fucking incomphrensible fantasy webcomic that makes about as much sense as Lord of the Rings on backwards Kazakh.

It’s basically just a load of fanservice, I’m even vaguely insulted when it throws out a “Valkyrie” without even remotely realizing that an actual valkyrie would wear full armour and a giant bloody battleaxe, not have her tits hanging out and wear nothing but underwear, also, they can FUCKING FLY!

It’s plot makes no sense, and it’s all tits.

NEW AGE FUCKING VAMPIRES!

Charby the Vampirate is one hell of an odd one. I can’t actually force myself to read this one, because all I see is a little anime styled kid with a mouthful of fangs.

And I hate it. It’s apparently one of the top ten “best” webcomics on Drunken duck, which makes no sense, until you realize it’s actually just one of the top ten most popular webcomic, and then it all makes sense. It’s a cultural facts that there exist a sizeable subculture that rejoices in vampires and anime and all that shit.

can be more generic, if it had a panty shot.
Talking about anime.

Drunken Duck also has a lot of anime.

poorly drawn doesnt stop it from being on the top ten

And alot of poorly drawn crap.

And do they ever have a lot of pornographic webcomic.

But rejoice:

It’s not all crap. This is the chapter page from the latest chapter of Anathema, which is quite well drawn, has fairly interesting characters, one is a seemingly easy-going vampire, another is yet another cleric who uses evil to fight evil, and has a fair bit of collateral damage.

It’s decent, and has a fair bit of appeal, if nothing else, because the main character has enough flaws to make her anti-Mary Sue.

Will be interesting to see her eksentialist dread carry on.

A last honorable mention to The Gods of ArrKelaan, the grand old man of Drunken Duck, who deserves much more, and yet still remains.

weee

My closing statement is simply this:

Cru the Dwarf is the fourth worst webcomic I have ever paid any sort of notice to, it symbolizes pointless storylines, poor jokes, festishism and fan service.

It also symbolizes everything that’s wrong with a lack of quality control, thus Drunken Duck, and partly Comic Genesis, but that’s for later.

About Ragnarokz

I am the Managing Director of the Balfour Institute of Internet Culture, and one of the world's foremost experts on the cultural phenomena of the Internet.
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18 Comments

  1. Maybe you should try drawing/writing a web-comic before you criticize. You don’t have any background in the industry, so why do you feel you have a right to judge others hard work? You clearly think highly of your opinion but don’t expect any respect from people who actually know anything about web-comic’s.

  2. “Cru the Dwarf is the fourth worst webcomic I have ever paid any sort of notice to, it symbolizes pointless storylines, poor jokes, festishism and fan service. ”

    Thats a VERY interesting a well-thought out point, good Sir. Allow me to present a rebuttal: Go fuck yourself with a cactus

  3. Please take down those images, you don’t own them and you posted them without permission.

  4. Aaah… Good to see some quality rage by a stereotypical guy. Oh! Sorry, didn’t mean to hurt your insignificant feelings.
    While I might agree with a few of the things you wrote, the fact that everything that you’re saying amounts to plain old fashioned bitching just sort of destroys whatever point you were trying to make.
    Grow up, and learn to respect people’s efforts, they may be different from what you want, but that gives you NO right to abuse the hell out of them. Maybe then, JUST maybe if you do learn, I’ll respect you too. Until then, farewell little man.

  5. So basically you have a (vastly) below average intelligence, and can’t comprehend a story? In your shame induced fury, you shat out this article (which is poorer than the quality you claim these webcomics to be) because, as I see it, you’re butthurt that your webcomic failed.

  6. Lotta butthurt people here. And tons of fallacies. 1) You do not need to make your own webcomic to criticize one. Do you need to be a chef before you can say your food tastes like shit? Do you need to make a movie before you can say Battlefield Earth sucked? 2) Don’t pick out the summarizing statement and base all of your opinions on it. You’ve then completely ignored the individual points. Try making a declaration on a book based solely on the backcover, see how accurate it is. 3) Don’t engage in ad hominem. Insulting the author just shows how low you are when you can’t fight the issues so you instead choose to heap scorn on the person and think you’re cool.

  7. Actually in response to anon6. To be a food CRITIC you have to have been either a chef or have had a huge background in the food industry. You don’t need to be a chef to tell them it’s shit but you do need to have a background to be a critic which is what this man/boy is trying to do. As for number 2 there every statement you make is to be called upon as you say it. This is a common ability used by lawyer’s police and anyone who’s proving a point. Don’t write something if you don’t want it to be used against you. As for your final point, you contradicted yourself in such an intense way it made me face palm IRL well done good sir.

  8. Thank you for proving my point as well as trying to put words in my mouth. Did I say food critic anywhere? Hmm? No. I said “do you need to be a chef to say if food tastes bad.” You ignored that and went off on your own tangent. Incidentally, as a writer I do indeed have the background to criticize Cru’s storylines. And I do think the excessive fanservice drags down the overall plot. Which happens to be a similar point made by the author of this article, only less vehement.

    No. In court they try to disprove individual pieces of evidence. As in, they take every single piece and look at it on its own to determine if it will be admitted or not. They don’t pick one and ignore everything else. This includes testimony. They listen to the witness and try to point out actual flaws, like saying they were in one location then next question they say they were elsewhere. They look for consistency. If they do find flaws, the witness is impeached. Does that mean the entire trial is worthless? No, just means one less piece to the whole thing. Hey, you’re the one who decided to bring up law to the AJ student.

    And finally, saying someone who uses ad hominem is low doesn’t contradict at all because 1) I didn’t attack anyone. “You” without a clarifying subject (Name or other identification) is universally accepted as a broad example. It’s generic. 2) I attacked the issue, which was “people who use ad hominem instead of debating the issue.”

    Please try again.

  9. Well… Anon…Yóu COULD say since this guy is a “Critic” you mentioned Food critics. In some weird way?
    And i guess… This guy is writing his opinions.. Ofcourse it sounds like a “I AM RIGHT AND REST IZ WRONG” he does have some good points about Cru the dwarf etc etc.

  10. Couldn’t agree more. Cru the Dwarf is terrible. The very bottom of the barrel when it comes to WoW related comics. Hopefully Blizzard will sue the shit out of him soon and make them shut down…

  11. Wah, wah, you whine more than my children in Toys’r’Us. You don’t like it? Don’t read it. Some of us enjoy crude humor.

    You don’t like someone’s art style? Then don’t bother with it. From an instructor’s standpoint, all the examples of drawn images are quite well done.

    As for your opinions, they just that, yours. You don’t appear to hold any position that grants you the right to force your opinions on anyone else.

    My summary: Quit the review biz and learn to enjoy life a bit. The constant bemoaning of how horrible a place or piece is, is a waste of everyone’s time.

  12. Years out of the Drunk Duck comic game I decide to Google my old work to see what the Internet had to say.

    Boy that was a mistake.

    You rise up enough for the Internet dregs to notice and they jump on you like a swarm of locusts on a tall corn stalk. My comic sucked enough that it was top/near-top consistently on DD and you spent time writing an article about it – An article filled with more whining than a chihuahua with its nuts caught in a vice. Fanservice and sex sell? Way to lecture us on Marketing 101, professor!

    Although it makes me glad to see the troops rallied behind me to shit on your review it wasn’t necessary to take a dump on a pre-existing turd. Reading your article makes me want to get back in the webcomic game if for nothing else but to incite more haters to bitch-blog about it.

    • Your kind words warm the black frozen lump that could be described as my heart, thank you. I long ago gave up writing reviews of webcomics, and really just keep them around for clickbaiting.

      Marketing 101 indeed, Cru’s still a piece of shit though, no offence.

      • None taken, and thanks for inspiring me to come back after I saw the huge community support I had from those who don’t shit all over the works of others without presenting anything of their own in comparison. Seriously though, mocking my first-ever comic page for it’s admittedly shitty speech bubbles? That entire page was a 30+ hour self-learning experience of trial-and-error in Modelviewer, Mapviewer and Photoshop. That’s like watching a baby learn how to crawl, then stepping on it and laughing at it for failing.

        I didn’t know everyone would hang around for years after I dropped out-of-sight and were so eager to have me return. I let my haters be my motivators AND I’M BACK, BITCHES! I’m like HSV – You got me and you’re stuck with me until you die!

        http://postimg.org/image/cfq6bmmhf/